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Leave YOUR game here, and I'LL review it! (The Crigence Critique)



  • The box in A-Box is supposed to slide around, though...
  • @rcreger
    Yeah i know, i just thought i needed more humor in the review!

    Actually, you should probably attach wheels to the bottom of the box to make it make sense? Just an idea!
  • I think that may take away the form of the box, and the icon wont match the logo of the game. But thanks for the suggestion! I'm planning something big for this game..
  • Yo @Crigence, could you do DRIVE next. Its long overdue for a re-review,
    the game's actually finished now.

  • edited May 2019
    @JR 01
    I agree, now that i got a slightly better computer and the game is fully finished: We can finally put this game to rest!

    I'll make the review either today or tomorrow, thanks for the submission!
  • edited June 2019
    @Crigence , why haven't you reviewed my game yet?
    I've submitted it twice now. Her's the link again.

    Cubed ripped it off, and it's not done yet.
  • yeah, just like cthornock said, i've submitted twice and haven't been reviewed. please dont feel presuured or rushed to do the review, though!
  • edited June 2019
    I was considering using the Angry Video Game Nerd style for this review...
    +The brightness test is actually a neat idea (Despite it being largely unnessacary)
    +The graphics are actually pretty nice!
    +You created 4 different planets for this game and one is named New Chicago? Nice!
    +The spaceship controls are actually pretty good!
    +The opening doors are actually kind of neat!
    +A JET PACK!?! Sweet!
    +The story is... Fine, it's FAR from a rcreger quality story but it's fine.
    +Okay, that switch thing is actually clever!
    +The boost pad is actually pretty cool!

    -The resolution is too small! I shouldn't have to zoom in, just make the game bigger!
    -"It is reccomended that you zoom in your computer screen" Say it with me now: THAT'S. NOT. HOW. YOU. ENGLISH.
    -The premise of the game is original for Flowlab, but for gaming as a whole (Am i the only one who plays REAL games here?) this is essentially just quick-time event the game!
    -Did that sign back there say "Space taint"?
    -It's hard to read some of the text! Put a box behind it!
    -I need to go to New Chicago (You DO realize that's a real place, right?) to get paint!?! WHY?!? I thought we were coding a virus not painting a house!
    -No teleportation cut-scene? C'mon, you're not restricted to 5 levels like the rest of us!
    -Some music would be nice...
    -A sprint option would be nice!
    -This game is straight up boring! There's nothing to do other than die and move right!
    -Why can't you put a wall there instead of making walk into the edge of the screen like an idiot?
    -The enemies in the sewer section are too unpredictable and hard to avoid! At least in Mario they only walk 1 direction and you KNOW where they're gonna go!
    -THE JETPACK CONTROLS LIKE GARBAGE. I'd rather be in the spaceship! At least that actually controlled well!
    -Why is there a cheerleader tower of enemies in this hallway?
    -Seriously, stop spamming enemies and actually design a level for once!
    -The vorgon dudes don't mind... The laziness is off the charts!
    -Do you have to remind me how to control the character every 5 minutes?
    -Also stop spoon-feeding me instructions and show instead of telling for once!
    -Annnddd one of the final lines references a meme but with horrible English. Nice.
    -This game has 0 sense of direction, one minute you're playing a boring platformer the next a boring space shooter!

    New Chicagi
    cheerleader tower
    I'm just going to say it: This game does NOT DESERVE to be on the front page of Flowlab! It has 0 sense of direction, it's EXTREMELY boring, the level design is trash, and the problems just go on and on! @grazer Stop putting games with little to no actual polish on the front page and actually put GOOD GAMES like Starblast 3 and Old Super Mario Bros. up there instead! I know that i shouldn't be promoting MY game, but at least it has actually GOOD levels!

    Scores (Scale of 1/5)

    eyeVisuals - 3.5 (A polished turd is still a turd.)
    soundSound - 0 (There is none!)
    joystickControls - 2
    angerDifficulty - 1 (It's just jumping, walking and watching!)
    gearStability - 5

    Final Score: 2/5, It's bad.
    *Insert mic drop here*

    Add some challenge and don't just spam enemies and call it "Level design"!
    Crigence Logo - Transparent
  • I had personally enjoyed @soethan1 's game @Crigence . It showed how you could use visual storytelling through a game (though I'm limited) and I found it interesting. Some things did not make sense, but I don't think THAT much.
  • edited November 2019
    @JR 01
    It's about time this game was given a re-review! Let's go!
    +Nice intro!
    +The different death messages are a nice touch!
    +A shop? Nice!
    +The mute button in general is a nice feature!
    +The help menu has an animation? Nice!

    -The resolution COULD be bigger!
    -How is a BIRD supposed to stop a car?
    -WHAT? I didn't even get close to that bird!

    *How about adding the Bounce Jam ball to the shop?

    What was that
    thank you
    I mean, it's an okay infinite runner... And that's it! The game doesn't really try to be anything special, it just tries to be an infinite runner! I know the game is done: But some extra modes, power-ups, ANYTHING would've been nice instead of just making it a infinite runner and that's it!

    Scores (Scale of 1/5)

    eyeVisuals - 3.5 (While the style IS nice, it's still not interesting to look at.)
    soundSound - 4 (The music is actually pretty good!!)
    joystickControls - 2.5 (They're OK, but something other than jumping would be cool!)
    angerDifficulty - 4 (It's NOT an easy game, i'll tell you that!)
    gearStability - 5

    Final Score: 3.5/5, Better than average.
    Whew, it's finally done and dusted!

    Add the Bounce Jam ball to the shop and your game is golden!
    Crigence Logo - Transparent
  • edited June 2019
    I can prove you wrong using only 3 lines i used in the review:

    "-Also stop spoon-feeding me instructions and show instead of telling for once!"
    "-The premise of the game is original for Flowlab, but for gaming as a whole (Am i the only one who plays REAL games here?) this is essentially just quick-time event the game!"
    "Difficulty - 1 (It's just jumping, walking and watching!)"

    Basically if this is "Visual storytelling" than it's garbage at that too! It spoon feeds you most of the plot and controls and doesn't let you piece it together yourself! Also, this is a review. It's my job to think about these things!
  • Like I said, not everything made sense.
  • Hey crigence, just wondering, is there any rhyme or reason to the order in which you review games???
  • edited June 2019
    @my_name (<_>)
    Didn't you read my description?

    "I also go by last-to-first when reviewing the games so if i don't review your game after a while i suggest resubmitting it! Also, there's the possibility that i might not WANT to review your game, but in the event that happens i'll probably tell you about it!"

    The reason i did yours out-of-order is because i already promised you i would review it either yesterday or today and i'm a man of my word!

    PS: Unless another game gets submitted, @cthornock is next!
  • Well, it's been a while since i made one of these one off post that aren't related to anything... But here we go!

    As most of you probably know, iv'e held the crown for most viewed discussion on Flowlab for a while now (Almost 3 months!) and for a while now, there's not really been another discussion which has even come CLOSE to The Crigence Critique yet! (And yes, i still hold the title of the most high-quality reviewer so far!)

    But recently, there's 1 other discussion which has been bothering me: @rcreger's Bored Reviews!

    From what i could tell, as i was gone: Bored Reviews was basically the go-to review discussion! And that review discussion over took our comment count... BY 300 COMMENTS!! HOW!?!

    And while it WOULD be nice to have my comment-crown back, i'm fine with how it is now! Bored Reviews is probably the 2nd best reviewer on this website (The others are either dead or just straight up rip me off (*COUGH* CLAMMYTEPEE RIPPED OFF MY LOGO *COUGH*))

    But, Bored Reviews is ALSO starting to rival me in views! I mean, it's currently 4.5k vs 3.5k but i'd say that is still too close for comfort!

    So, to help me keep my spot as #1 most view'd: I would like EVERYONE who reads this to share this discussion ( ) to their friends and to revisit it at least once a day (And maybe read some reviews while your at it?)!

    Imagine me and PewDiePie and @rcreger as T-series! Let's defend the crown!
  • edited June 2019
    Uhmmmmmmm, you haven't review my game yet @Crigence

  • Maybe I’m just a bit sensitive but It actually made me feel a sort of shame when I was reading the last statement.

    Besides the stuff I couldn’t understand, I will do my best to respond to the criticism:

    The “spoon feeding instructions” is because the different modes have different controls. For example, the ship in the final level is controlled differently than the other spaceship options. It wasn’t my intent to make the jet pack garbage, but due to how the “polygon” setting in shapes, you would instead be jumping 50 percent of the time after pressing W. Which one is better?

    I WAS going to make the vorgonic mothership different, like making it so if you touched the vorgon dudes too long you would have to restart, but that was actually way harder to code than I thought and I couldn’t find a way. Again, I was trying to be creative and add varieties of difficulty to the level.

    What do you expect from my graphics? I hand drew everything and tried to make stuff detailed, but, as nearly everything is hand drawn and not photoshopped, I did not, could not, and decided not to put advanced graphics. I am not some pixel wizard and I personally feel that rating was unfair.

    If I could make objects larger than 10x10 I would have made the resolution larger. I made it a 10x10 resolution so I could use backgrounds efficiently.

    Please state WHERE this “horrible English” at the end is. If you just mean something like the three exclamation points, or “why were we made? Just to suffer?”, I mean, really?

    The drones underground were not my fault and just act that way, I did not intend them to move that way, and the code doesn’t intend it either. Bt I found that this glitch could actually be used for interesting level design.

    If you paid attention to the dialogue the hangar owner also needed to build you a disguise (your fake suit and ship). How would you do that without paint?

    Stuff like music IS planned for the future, but I’m currently not working on it because I’m trying to get other features polished.

    The teleportation cutscene.. I might do that! That actually sounds like a good idea. I also have other ideas for cutscene animations for the animation update I’m working on.

    And the final level is hard for a reason. The game is supposed to get more difficult as you go on. I’m not sure how to make stuff more interesting besides music, but I am trying to add new elements to levels.

    It might just be me, but I feel this review was given extra criticism because it got featured. Maybe that’s just me, and maybe I should have known better that you focus on negatives in reviews. Crigence, you don’t need to respond to this as I wouldn’t really like the argument to go further.

    @grazer as crigence said, maybe this game doesn’t deserve a featured spot. As the creator of this game I can’t - and shouldn’t give my own opinions. If you feel like this game doesn’t go on the featured page, go ahead. But do know that I am taking time out of each of my days to improve my game and counter the wounds that the game has.

    Thank you,
  • Funny thing is @Crigence , I already look at your reviews all the time :lol: And yes, you have the highest quality reviews. I can't do half the stuff you do with it. I prefer mine to be simple so that I can get it out quicker, while fitting in enough information and suggestions in the review. However, I don't think my views will get any closer - as your review has much better visuals. Good luck!
  • Alright, thanks for the review @Crigence.
    Glad to see you would like more out of it because I'm actually still working on it.
    The DRIVE you just reviewed was the complete version due to restrictions with a free account.
    Now that I have an Indie account, I'm continuing the project with a cloned game.
    I'm working on 2 more modes, but I'll look at your recommendations and let you know when the full version is ready.
  • edited June 2019
    @my_name (<_>)
    This is probably one of the most creative games iv'e ever reviewed!
    +I like how the background lights up as you... slide past! Nice touch!
    +Giving the player space on the main menu to get used to the mechanics is nice... But a tutorial would be nicer!
    +Oh, there IS a tutorial screen! Nice!
    +I gotta leave a positive note just for the premise alone! It's a REALLY good idea and i'm surprised no-one has done this yet! (Bounce Jam also toys with gravity a bit, but those are just blocks!
    +Level 3 is simply awesome! It's like upside down pachinco!
    +As your gravity swaps, the bosses does too? Neat! (Oh yeah and nice boss battle!)

    -Please put a background behind the menu buttons, it's setting off my non-existent OCD!
    -A option to use WASD instead of arrow keys would be nice!
    -One obstacle is a standard block with a no symbol on it?... Ok.
    -Why do yellow blocks change stuff? Could you at least put some kind of icon on it?
    -Some music would be nice!

    *You don't die when you touch the side of spikes? Did @rcreger make this?
    *A sprint button would be nice!

    I win
    NOT cheating
    Like i said in the one comment above, this is one of the most creative games iv'e ever reviewed and (In my opinion!) it DESERVES to be put on the front page of! It's a perfect representation of what you can do with Flowlab! Is it a puzzler? Or is it a platformer? The answer is:

    Scores (Scale of 1/5)

    eyeVisuals - 3.5
    soundSound - 0 (There is none!)
    joystickControls - 2.5 (They're OK, but something other than jumping would be cool!)
    angerDifficulty - 4 (It's NOT an easy game, i'll tell you that!)
    gearStability - 5 (Despite literally toying with gravity: It's a clean game!)

    Final Score: 3.5/5, Better than average.
    Sorry, but i would like something a little bit more from this game before i give it a 4!

    Add different modes and possibly sprinting and you got yourself a golden game and a 4/5 right there!
    Crigence Logo - Transparent
  • @Crigence What would you recommend for different controls? Im thinking of adding a slow down or stop button that would make it easer to stay on small platforms. I feel like sprint is unnecessary because of the small level sizes(plus it might allow for unintentional skips) Also, I just added some music. Just the ones that come with flowlab but I might have a friend make me some more in the future
  • Oh yah, the extra modes will be coming in gravity hop 2!!!
  • Hooold up :lol: What's wrong with my spikes?
  • It is finished @Crigence , though I may add in some extra characters and update graphics and animations, but I want you to check it out (again). The link is below:


    If you can also drop a like, that'd be fantastic! Thanks, and good luck!
  • edited June 2019
    @rcreger (Yes, i DO know i don't typically respond to requests... Just acknowledging that!)

    Alright, i'll re-review the game! But one issue: I won't have sound for a bit so i'll have to just use the stock score of 3 that i use every time my sound breaks! If that's okay with you: I'll review ASAP!

    Well i got sound now so this entire post is pointless. Move along!
  • edited June 2019
    PLEASE NOTE: In order to make a thorough critique, this review WILL somewhat spoil the ending of A Box! I VERY HIGHLY suggest you play it before reading this review! But, with that out of the way, enjoy!
    Well, you got the 4/5 you wanted! But, you can do better!
    +Nice intro sequence! (Despite the fact EVERY modern Flowlab game has one...)
    +I can see you updated
    +OH! So you're on a quest to find your creator? That makes more sense!
    +OK, so the reason being stabbed hurts the box is because that stabs its battery? Makes sense!
    +The 2.5D perspective is still awesome!
    +"The numbers, i always see them." That sounds like the box equivalent to hearing voices... This game just got a lot darker...
    +Fantastic credits music! (And no, i'm not just saying that because i'm in it XD)

    ~I was so conflicted on how i felt about this ending i made a new type of note... I won't spoil it, but on one hand i REALLY did not see it coming! But on the other it was SO anti-climatic and barely even satisfying! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THIS!!!

    -I can see you didn't change the bland background :/
    -You still didn't bother explaining why the box teleports off without me! Is she can teleport off, why doesn't she take me? That was one of my complaints!
    -I accidentally got the push-box in a position where i couldn't push it and now i'm stuck! Can you add some way to reset them without dying?
    -Move that stupid green box! Its too hard to jump past it!
    -The game should be WAY longer than it is right now so the ending can have more impact!

    *Am i a god at platformers, or is this game just REALLY easy?
    *I GOT AN IDEA: How about, if you try to play the game again after seeing the ending: You enter a new game+ sort of mode where there ARE NO checkpoint boxes (Because they all got snapped out of existence), and once you get to the end: You get to see the TRUE ending! (The ending in the game right now!)

    ...What do you expect me to say? Like, how am i suppose to sum this game up in a short sentence? I mean, the game is SO good but the ending just flops! Make the game longer, make it so you actually have to WIN the final boss in order to see the ending we got now and make a New Game+ where you actually get to save your friends! THAT would, by far, make this game 4.5/5 material!

    Scores (Scale of 1/5)

    eyeVisuals - 3.5
    soundSound - 4
    joystickControls - 2.5 (Would a sprint button kill you (Or in this case, snap you?)
    angerDifficulty - 3.5 (There were some tricky parts, even by my standards!)
    gearStability - 4 (If you jump as soon as you hit the ground, you can jump higher, Making the eyes useless!)

    Final Score: 4/5, Outstanding!
    You almost got a 4.5... Almost!

    Maybe change the ending a bit and make it so you actually HAVE TO WIN the final boss in order to see the true ending instead! Other than that, it's absolute gold!
    Crigence Logo - Transparent
  • Well, since i'm currently struggling to get more comments and i'm bored i might as well make ANOTHER useless post! Yay!

    Well, as you guys know: For a while now there's been this sort of mini-trend where game reviewers would make little competitions to go along with their reviews! And also for a long time now: I've held off on doing this because it just seemed pointless!

    And well, now that my reviews are basically dying (Despite my reviews becoming WAY higher quality and coming out more frequently!) i might as well ask the 5 people who read these comments what they think:

    Should i make a weekly competition to go along with my reviews or not?

    Depending on how the reaction to this post is, i'll start doing it next week! Thanks for reading (Since i don't think there's many other people who are...)!
    Crigence Logo - Transparent
  • I think you should do a weekly competition.
  • @Crigence , I don't want to rush you, but I'm getting a bit restless. Here's a tip on reviews, review the ones that were submitted first, because if you review the last submitted game, some games might not be reviewed at all. Take my game for example. I've had it in for about 2 weeks. And I'm still waiting for the review. If you want to, I would highly recommend taking my advice. Here's my game URL for the fourth time.
  • edited June 2019
    Thanks for the review @Crigence ! And actually, you can reset the movable boxes by clicking "Enter"... I thought I put that in the help and description.. However, I found all of those points reasonable, and I'm thinking of something of TWO DIFFERENT ENDINGS, so one you win, and one you lose (technically, you always win..), but I'll need more time for that.

    Good luck with the other reviews, and have a great day!

    EDIT: First, the boxes are... "it"'s? But they were made to be called "he"'s, as of their titles. Anyways, though not stated in the game, T.1.M is testing T.0.DD through this. The next box, J.4.CK, is actually more loyal to T.1.M, and was not close to T.0.DD whatsoever, while ST.3.V.3.N wanted to be his friend, as T.1.M is very harsh with ST.3.V.3.N, which is why he says, "That is the nicest thing anyone's said to me", because no one EVER said anything kind to him.. However, he had to follow his masters will, or he would have been "snapped" lot earlier. It is all connected in my head :lol: Clear anything up?
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