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Leave YOUR game here, and I'LL review it! (The Crigence Critique)



  • @CrimsonBlackGames
    Yeah it didn't run so good, can you send me the lesser version instead?
  • @Crigence ok. Keep in mind SB2 has the lesser version. Not 3. If 3 lags a lot turn the quality on low and turn “dynamic turning” off
  • edited February 2019
    Sorry for the late review, to be honest i just didn't really want to review anything for a while. Here's my notes:

    +Putting tips at the bottom is a good idea! (A way to scroll through them would be nice!)
    +The game looks good! (At the cost of it being laggy as hell)
    +Runs slightly better than Starblast 3!
    +The enemies (Or at least from what i can tell from the PowerPoint presentation) are pretty smart!

    -The main menu theme makes me feel like i'm in a drug trip more than in space!
    -The game menu is a bit clumped together
    -How come none of the gamemode buttons do anything? Did i encounter a glitch already?!
    -"(C) CrimsonBlackGames" I know there's no way you copyrighted this game, don't lie!
    -The game is extremely laggy.
    -The testing menu is the most optimized one, and even then i have to spam the button because holding it in is too laggy!
    -Clicking to shoot doesn't work, but the arrow keys do!
    -The ship preview doesn't work!
    -I found the optimal way to play the game is to go into a corner and spam buttons!
    -The credits menu is just lazy!


    I really don't know what to say, It's basically common knowledge now that my computer is total garbage and they straight up said in the description that you'll probably need a strong computer to play. Still, you gotta remember that these reviews are supposed to reflect MY EXPERIENCE with a game so i'm still going to score it based off what i saw.

    Scores (Scale of 1/5)

    Visuals - 4.5 (I removed .5 for the clumped menus and visual clutter in the game itself)
    Sound - 3.5
    Controls - 2
    Stability - 1.5 (I added .5 because it ran slightly better than Starblast 3)

    Final Score: 3/5.
    What did you expect?

    ... ~Crigence
  • @Crigence you see, there’s something called a “Poor mans copyright”

    Basically if you email the file of the game to yourself, you have actual proof of creating something- and therefor have rights to it. This “copyright” has actually held up in court before!
  • I swear, I’m gonna have to rebuild SB2 as well, huh?
  • edited February 2019
    @Daniel Folston
    Not bad, not bad at all! Here's my notes:

    +The character select screen looks pretty good!
    +I guess the game looks okay
    +Decent animations!
    +Magic attacks are a decent way to spice up combat, but they should require potions to use and should be more powerful! Make them block projectiles or something and give everyone a different potion attack!
    +Highly detailed levels!
    +I like the games fantasy style!
    +I like the idea of multiple characters, but you should really do more with it! Make the knight strong and healthy, but slow, the mage should be the all around descent character, the dragonkin should be fast and attack fast but has weak attacks, and the rogue should just be the terrible character for those would want a challenge. And a special character for if you beat the game would be nice too!

    -No title screen
    -What is this, DOS? Who makes you press a number key to select something!?
    -Why does the door to the left at the start look like that? Did i just come out of hell!?!?
    -The "boss" just is kind of there, no build up or nothing to prepare you!
    -Who left these potions lying around and how come the color has nothing to do with its use? Green doesn't normally mean health!
    -The HP says 0 when you get in.
    -There is NO point in killing the enemies, how about making them drop health or something?
    -As far as i can tell, there is NO difference to playing the different classes! Give them different health and magic attacks (See the positive notes for that)
    -How come the potions are the same size as you!?! They're fuckin huge!
    -The bats should be weaker
    --Does the title of the game have ANYTHING to do with the game!?


    This game is a pretty standard Flash game, all things considered. Meaning it's one of those games you'd throw 5 minutes into and then forget about. At least that's my stance on Flash games! Still, it's a decent 5 minutes of your life!

    Scores (Scale of 1/5)

    Visuals - 3.5
    Sound - 2.5
    Controls - 3
    Stability - 5

    Final Score: 3.5/5.
    It'd probably be better if i knew anything about Dungeons and Dragons.

    Drop your massive ego, Mr. (Lol, how about no) ~Crigence
  • edited February 2019
    @Daniel Folston
    Just saying, that bit at the end is just a joke. Don't take it seriously.
  • @Crigence thanks for taking the time.

    The HP bug i can't figure out, it keeps changing when you play multiple times.
    The classes are different.
    The rogue does massive damage but it's weak
    The Dragonkin has a lot of mobility, able to do a triple jump should you figure out how (wink wink)
    The Mage does more dmg than all combined and the shield blocks magic projectiles
    The Tank has a knock back and lots more HP.

    You can beat the game pacifist style should you also figure out how, I ain't telling. That's why the enemies are sort of irrelevant.
    The Blue Potion enables a special skill, but that's still on test mode, you can activate it with "C"
    In my campaign the health potions are green, but that's mostly a homebrew thing.

    Loading screen wise, being a tech demo and all, i didn't think it was necessary.
    Storywise I'm working on it, the title it is also a DnD reference, it's a spell that can kill gods if spoken aloud.
    Thanks again for taking the time, I doubt you could beat it and see the last screen, it is by no means finished.
  • @Daniel Folston , you're right to doubt we would beat it
  • edited February 2019
    Well, i destroyed some very expensive drones and i'm ready to review! Here's my notes:

    +Bonus points for the help button!... That doesn't work.
    +The controls are pretty good!
    ++The game runs extremely well!

    -What am i looking at? No seriously, what am i looking at? The guy looks like a astronaut with a sword for a penis!
    -Start just takes me back to the YaySauce logo, it's a good logo but still! I had to use the editor to skip into level 1.
    -ANOTHER game with Atari 2600 looking graphics, i already got 3 now.
    -This game is stupid easy, and by that i mean you have to be stupid to lose! Just stand on the right side of the hill, jump and hold spacebar and you're fuckin untouchable!
    -Some other attacks besides the easily spammable laser would be nice! Take a note from Starblast and add chargeable attacks!
    -Add more spawners!
    -Add different types of drones!
    -In the parkour level (Which i think is just a test level) when you fall off the stage you fall infintely! Why did you make it so you can fall off at all!?!
    -Why do you stand IN FRONT of the grass? Use display order to make you stand behind it!
    -FORGOT TO PUT MY DAMN HEADPHONES ON AGAIN... Oh wait, there's no sound effects! Add some!


    This game is very clearly unfinished so you got to take that into account while playing it! I got a ton of ideas for how you could improve and i included most of them in the notes. Also i can help you with the score if you want!

    Scores (Scale of 1/5)

    Visuals - 2.5
    Sound - 0 (There is none!)
    Controls - 3
    Stability - 5

    Final Score: 3/5.
    A pretty good time waster!

    Keep adding more on and be sure to add the stuff i mentioned! ~Crigence
  • Can someone please send me A game? I haven't gotten any in a while and i'm getting down the list fast!
  • Hey @Crigence , this game is no where to be done, but I'd like to get some feedback on it. It's called A Boy in Armor, try it out! . Thanks!
  • Maybe try my other games? ;v

  • Here is a simple game that I made. It isn't finished yet, but it has fun gameplay. It is a lot simpler than Dodge Bounce and should run smoother on your computer. I hope you enjoy it.
  • @Simple_doge5 Can you be more specific?
  • edited February 2019
    @Caleb Strawberry 3 @rcreger

    Thanks for coming to my rescue! I'll review those games when i get down the list of like 4-5 games! (That may seem like a lot, but you gotta remember at one point i had about 7-8)
  • edited February 2019
    (Note: This review is the one where i used that Angry Video Game Nerd style i promised before if i got another really bad game, so this one's going to be REALLY vulgar! Don't read if you don't like that kind of stuff!)

    Wow, congratulations! You made a game so god-awful i have to be vulgar just to explain how bad it is! Here's my notes:

    +The game looks okay, by Atari 2600 standards anyway
    +The knight model actually looks pretty good!
    +I like the birds being there to spice up the background a bit... Yeah this game is so fucking boring the birds are interesting!
    +At least there's a tutorial! Even though it sucks ass!

    -What the actual shit? Are those shrimp? What do knights and shrimp have in common!?!?!?
    -Bad music
    -"If you or the castle die you lose." Huh, i didn't know castles were alive! I hope it doesn't have a wife and kids!
    -Awful combat, there's no good way to kill them without getting hurt and the collison is way off!
    -I checked why the collison is so shit, and it turns out their shape is set to circle! SET IT TO RECTANGLE!!!!!!!!
    -There needs to be different types of enemies and ESPECIALLY different attacks! Otherwise your just swinging your sword around like your in a drunken bar fight!
    -Why are the buildings so close together? Spread them out so if or when the enemies ever start to come faster you actually have a chance!
    -Where are we? Concrete land?! WHY IS THE FLOOR CONCRETE!?!?
    -The only way to play this game is standing in front of the enemy's door and spamming F! This game is so bad that i actually recommend exploiting it!
    -Add a score board and a score counter, so that way there's a actual POINT to playing this game besides marveling in it's shittiness!
    --What's the point of playing the game? No really, what is the point? They never stop coming!

    -Seriously, what is the point of the shrimp? Is this a advertisement for Bubba's shrimp house or something?


    This game is so bad that i'd rather drink beer mixed with horse semen that went through a sewage system than play this game! This game is so bad i'd rather eat a 5-weeks-dead puppy that a bear pissed on than play this game! This game is so bad, i'd rather watch a single video from the Annoying Orange than play this game! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING WHEN THEY MADE THIS GAME!?

    Oh, i know: They weren't thinking.

    Scores (Scale of 1/5)

    Visuals - 2
    Sound - 1.5
    Controls - 2.5
    Stability - 5

    Final Score: 1.5/5.
    I'd rather eat the rotten asshole of a road-kill skunk AND/OR down it with beer than play this again!

    There's no saving it, you might as well scrap it! ~Crigence
    If you wanna check out the Angry Video Game Nerd, here he is:
  • There's definitely AGVN vibes here
  • please note that i do not own all of these sprites since theyre all basic flowlab sprites :v
  • @Crigence!, I finally created the second level of slimeslay!
    I think you should try it out first!

    ill also polish the level once i get the feedback!
  • @Simple_doge5
    Ooo! That sounds fun! I'll check it out when i get down the list!
  • Here's something i'm working on i think everyone might wanna see:
  • Alright here's one
    This my game (even though it says not Back then I didn't have an Indie account so i created new account)
    Its a really simple game and its not done but here you go.
    by the way it saves your highscore
  • edited February 2019
    All I can say is "wow" to that AVGN video, @Crigence ... Perfect!
  • edited February 2019
    Even though i'm a bigger fan of Mario: I'll play it anyway! Here's my notes:

    +Surprisingly good custom animations!
    +The movement is surprisingly similar to actual sonic! Well done!
    +The levels look like they had some actual thought put into them!

    -I can feel the crust of that sonic JPEG on my eyes.
    -This is the starting screen, why is there a ring counter and a timer?
    -I died, came back and now the hud is gone!
    -Z?!?! Z IS THE JUMP KEY!?!?! (Exactly what i said when i found it) Change it to spacebar or Numpad 0!
    -Why are there trees in the sky?
    -Why is there no music? That kinda makes it creepy!
    -Wall jumping is WAY too hard, i just skipped it!
    -This is the glitchiest game ever, unexplainable shit happens every other minute!
    -For example, when i tried to skip the game soft-locked!
    -When i turned on "embed" the wall jumping fixed! I guess it's a optimization problem.
    -The rock from Level 2 just kinda appears out of no-where, put it at the beginning of Level 1 so we know it exists!
    -Shouldn't the water in Level 3 be animated? To me that looks like a waterfall!
    --I thought in a sonic game, speed is key, but no: LEVEL 3 IS ALL ABOUT GOING SLOW!!

    -For some reason, When i went to take the picture of the jump from Level 2 so people could see what i mean every time i tried the jump i made it! Great, just great. There goes that picture!


    It's a bargain bin Sonic game, what did you expect? it kinda feels like sonic, i mean: It has the momentum down, the animations, everythings about right! The levels are under-detailed, but remember: This is a Flowlab game! The only problem is that the levels don't really feel like sonic, they need more in them!

    Scores (Scale of 1/5)

    Visuals - 3.5
    Sound - 2
    Controls - 4
    Stability - 4.5

    Final Score: 3.5/5. (Add music to the levels and you could get a 4!)
    Bargain. Bin. Sonic. Game.

    Just fix all the negatives and it's a pretty good platformer game! ~Crigence
  • The Starblast 3 re-review is next, this could either blow my mind or not change anything. Can't wait!
  • Just use the mouse for the love of god lmao
  • edited February 2019
    I am! I got my lab rat right here to press the keys for me!
  • edited February 2019
    The Starblast series is great, @CrimsonBlackGames ! Haven't played it before, till now!
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